“The grass is greener on the other side of the fence” or so everyone seems to think. Maybe that may be the case, but greener grass means more water is put into it and higher water bills.

In the world of relationships it is easier to think that the next fellow has it easier and better. After all, it is hard to perceive what goes on behind closed doors. When people look at the other person and his/her spouse they start to think how happy they would be if they had that particular spouse, after all he has a better job or she has a bigger behind! In fact, others go to the extent of trying to get the other’s spouse for themselves because that particular person seems so happy.

This is wrong because anyone can be happy with whatever it is they have at the moment. Happiness is a state of mind. There is a Swahili saying that goes “ukiona chaelea ujue kimeundwa”. You never know how much work someone puts into their particular relationship to make it so satisfying.

So, the following is what you can do to make the grass at your own side of the fence look greener, and as I said, it will mean a little more water cost than you are currently paying.

©      Learn to appreciate your partner’s strong points. No one in this world goes without a certain virtue. If you look closely you will realize that there is a reason you fell in love with them in the first place and made a decision to be with them. Welcome whatever good they have to offer.

©      Learn to accept your partner’s weak points. The human mind is a strong instrument. It can learn anything, and I mean anything. It can create things which were not there to come to be, and it can make things that are there disappear, literally. People have amazingly learnt to live in stench filled areas and have gotten used to it so much that if you asked them they would happily claim to feel no smell. People have their vices as well. Most of these can either be ignored or simply gotten used to. However, there are some vices that cannot, and shouldn’t be tolerated such as abuse (both physical and emotional). Such should be reported to the authorities ASAP.

©      Avoid comparison. And this is not only concerned with romantic relationships, but all relationships as well. It is not fair to compare kids with their siblings, it is not fair to compare parents with other people’s etc. do not compare your spouse to someone else’s or your own past relationships. There are no two completely similar human beings. Everyone is a unique individual and that fact should be appreciated.

©      Work on your relationship. Every good thing requires work so if you want a better relationship you’ve got to start working on it. Apply the “do unto others” rule. If you want your partner to treat you better, start treating him/her better first and see if he/she doesn’t catch the cue.

It is okay to admire another’s relationship, but to covet it. It is okay to look at another person’s relationship and learn from them so as to improve your own.

The oily African money

The question is: Why is it that whenever an African gets more money they become more obese? While other people (say Americans) get slimmer as more money gets in? Supposing the color of the notes influences people’s lifestyle choices; for instance, since the note of the highest value is reddish in color (in Tanzanian shillings), it motivates people to eat more meat and fats. And since the American dollar is greenish, people eat more vegetables. But that is only an unscientific assumption.

Another way to explain this is the fact that in most African cultures the words “fat” and “healthy” are synonymous.

It is commonly heard of that African men prefer their women fat because they get places to grab (love handles). And African women prefer their men fat because it is a sign of wealth.

Enough with the assumptions. Scientifically, every person has their appropriate weight, depending on their height and body frame size.

The following is the appropriate body weight to height chart for men and women:

Height		Weight (Kilograms)
Feet and inches	Centimeters	Males	Females
4’ 6”	137.16	28 – 35	28 – 35
4’ 7”	139.7	30 – 39	30 – 37
4’ 8”	142.24	33 – 40	32 – 40
4’ 9”	144.78	35 – 44	35 – 42
4’ 10”	147.32	38 – 40	36 – 45
4’ 11”	149.86	40 – 50	39 – 47
5’ 0”	152.4	43 – 53	40 – 50
5’ 1”	154.94	45 – 55	43 – 52
5’ 2”	157.48	48 – 59	45 – 55
5’ 3”	160.02	50 – 61	47 – 57
5’ 4”	162.56	53 – 65	49 – 60
5’ 5”	165.1	55 – 68	51 – 62
5’ 6”	167.64	58 – 70	53 – 65
5’ 7”	170.18	60 – 74	55 – 67
5’ 8”	172.72	63 – 76	57 – 70
5’ 9”	175.26	65 – 80	59 – 72
5’ 10”	177.8	67 – 83	61 – 75
5’ 11”	180.34	70 – 85	63 – 77
6’ 0”	182.88	72 – 89	65 – 80

Note that the above chart is only applicable to healthy adults.

Regardless of beliefs and myths, all people are supposed to be of their appropriate body weight. And it is possible to reach to your particular weight.

The question is how. But it is in no doubt that there must be some lifestyle changes.

Sex is a great thing for relationships especially marriages. It is essential to make marriages work. A great sex life is a product of both partner’s efforts. No one partner can make sex fantastic in as relationship by him/herself.

But generally there are things that make sex in a relationship a little less than it should be especially if one partner’s acts make another feel like they really do not want to have sex anymore.

So from men’s points of view, these are some of the things they wish their women never did, to ensure that the sex life remains at least satisfactory.

•  Lying there like a corpse. It is frustrating for a guy to have sex with someone who is not participative and/or at least responsive during the sex act. A girl who can just lie there like a cabbage during the whole act waiting for her man to “finish” makes the man feel like he is not good or interesting at all. This behavior makes him feel less efficient/ effective.
•   Doing something “else” during the act. Reading a magazine during sex?! What could be worse than that? This shows that the whole sex thing is a bore and a waste of time, and you would rather be doing something else! Things like texting, reading, answering phone calls, planning a to-do list for the morrow should wait.
•  Asking for things/favors during the act. Some men do not get intimate with their partners anymore because they are scared. The thing is every time they get intimate they have to give up something. A man is quite vulnerable during sex and when a woman uses this chance to ask for money, a car or a new house it is plain old manipulation. Even asking him to stop spending a lot of time with those friends of his that you do not like, or to quit smoking DURING sex is not a very pleasant thing to do.
• Dictating his EVERY move. Most men try to impress and please at the same time during the sex act. So unless what he is doing is hurting or bothering you, try to stop telling him what you want him to do to you every passing second, you are demoralizing his sexual prowess.
• Laughing/mocking his sexuality. Most men take great pride in their sexual organs. For some of them, these organs are the most cherished members of their bodies. So naturally, laughing/mocking this cherished member is the greatest turn off for most men. It makes them feel VERY insecure about themselves.

Being non-hygienic, using curse words profusely, talking about the ex, etc are some other things that can also be added to the above list.

ADVANTAGES OF INVESTING IN SHARES

So maybe you are wondering to yourself whether or not to invest your hard earned cash in the stock market. Perhaps the following points will enlighten you in that decision. Here are the advantages of investing in shares:

·         It offers a savings and investing opportunity. This is a more profitable form of saving your money rather than keeping it in a savings account in a bank where it can be affected by inflation and currency devaluation over time.

N.B: keep most of your money in an asset that has a tendency to appreciate (i.e. increase in value).

·         Cash inflow in terms of dividends. Whenever the company makes profit and decide it is to be distributed to the owners (shareholders) you will get an income. For example, TBL and Swissport dish out 80% of their profits as dividends. CRDB issues out 35% while NMB issues 33%.

If you buy shares, your money works for you. You get an income from your money without going to work for it.

If dividends are greater than your living expenses, employment will be a matter of choice to you.

·         Capital gain (also known as capital appreciation or ongezeko la thamani). Buying shares from a company that has a good performance gives you an almost guarantee of wealth.

Example: Consider Warren Buffet, the second-richest American who got most of his wealth of about $ 12.7 billion from investing in securities.

·         If you put your money in stock, you have a high probability to beat inflation and currency devaluation. Hence you protect the value of your money.

·         Tax incentive. There is no tax in capital gain because there is a tax advantage on investors. Also, tax on dividends is only a 5% withholding tax, unlike income tax on employment which can go up to 30% of the gross salary. On top of that, listed companies receive a 5% relief on corporate taxes, thus paying a mere 25% taxes on their corporate profits, unlike unlisted companies which pay 30% corporate taxes.

·         Raising capital. If you want capital so you can start your own business, you can get it through:

·         IPO – you can issue shares of your business and get capital.

·         Capital gain – you can sell the shares you own and use the capital gain as a capital for your new business.

·         Loan – you can use your shares as collateral when you borrow money for capital from a bank. This is better than if you put your house up for collateral security. Imagine what would happen if your new business venture failed.

·         Time saving. If you own a business, the success of the business largely depends upon your health and physical presence. If you own shares, on the other hand, you own part of the business but you do not have to be there to run it. There are board of directors and management that do that work for you, and at the same time you reap the benefits.

·         Shares are at affordable prices, anyone can afford.

The following are the per-share (for one share) price for different listed companies (as at 11^th August 2015):

ü    CRDB                                                 Tshs. 405/

ü    NMB                                                   Tshs. 2,700/

ü    SWISSPORT                                    Tshs. 7,300/

ü    TBL                                                     Tshs. 15,200/

ü    TCC                                                    Tshs. 16,350/

Of course it must be understood that you cannot buy one share at a time. Most companies let you buy shares costing from Tshs. 100,000 to Tshs. 200,000.

·         Shares are invisible and divisible wealth. They are invisible because the public cannot see your wealth. When people see your wealth they can devise means to take it from you, leave alone the number of relatives who will choose to be dependants, the moment they realize you have a couple of houses and cars, an endless stream of people ready and very willing to spend your money.

Shares are also divisible wealth because you can sell a portion of your shares whenever you need a certain amount of cash. On the other hand, it can be very hard to sell a portion of your house when you need the money.

How to get shares and what you get from them

In PART 1 we saw what shares are, and maybe you will be asking yourself how you can acquire them. Shares can be obtained in majorly, the following three methods:

·         Over the Counter (OTC)

This is buying and selling shares without the regulation of the government. These shares are usually bought directly from the company issuing those shares. Normally the company is not listed in the stock market and these shares come at a cheaper price. Most of the companies selling their shares this way are private companies.

·         Initial Public Offer (IPO)

This is the first sale of shares by a company to the public (to all persons that want and can afford to buy). All the money from this sale goes to the company as the capital. When a company sells its shares in an IPO, it “goes public”. An example is the sale of Yetu Microfinance shares that occurred last month and was advertised in different media stations.

·         Secondary market

This is a market in which previously issued financial instruments (such as shares) are bought and sold. Previously issued means that they were already traded in OCT or in an IPO. This is when shares are in people’s hands (individuals and corporations) and they are traded in the stock market. In Tanzania the stock market is the Dar-es-salaam Stock Exchange (DSE). The money gained in this market does not go to the companies; rather it remains in the hands of the public. This is where people get profit/loss from selling their shares.

Profit from owning (or trading) in shares can come in the following two ways:

·    Capital gain – this is the gain derived when the value of a held share appreciates (increases in value). For example, if in 2010 you bought 1,000 shares in company XY, each costing Tshs. 400/ and now (2014) each share costs Tshs. 1,000/, then your capital gain is Tshs. 600 per share (thus Tshs 600,000 in total) because Tshs. 1,000 minus Tshs. 400 is the Tshs 600 you get as profit. This times the number of shares (1,000 shares) is the capital gain you get that is Tshs. 600,000. Capital gain is usually realized at the sale of the shares.

The best thing about capital gain is that it is not taxed. This is because the government is set on encouraging investors to invest more.

Young people who invest in shares should focus more on the capital gain.

·   Dividends – When any business makes profit, it is normally given to the owners. Shareholders are owners of a company so the profit that the business has made is distributed to the shareholders depending on the number of shares held per shareholder. This is normally realized whenever the business makes profit and decides to distribute dividends, which is by and large yearly for most companies. Older people who invest in shares should focus more on dividends, as a more/less stable source of income while the younger generation can focus on the capital gain.

Introducing the concept of shares

In any economy (financial system) there are two types of people, those who spend and those who save. Practically these two people are the same because whenever someone earns/gets money, normally a part of it is spent, and a part is saved. Therefore, the economy is made of “surplus spending (total income that is consumed)” and “net savers (the remainder of the economy that is not spent)”.

Usually, the income that is not spent is stored in banks, but that is not a very wise thing, because it can be invested and hence generate more income. This means that instead of just storing y our money somewhere where it only stays idle, you can put it somewhere where it can make you more money. Isn't this an appealing idea that your money works for you to bring in more money? One way to do this is to invest your money in the stock market. This concept will be explained hereunder, and in subsequent posts.

In the society there are people who want to start different companies or expand existing companies, and these people need start up money to do so. Money needed to start and run a company/business is called capital.

Sometimes as someone wants to start or expand a company, they may not be able to come up with enough money to do so, thus they have to find another means to be able to get enough capital. They may choose to borrow money from external sources, normally a bank (loan), or they may get money by selling a part of their company ownership to someone else and use the money as the finance they needed (equity).

When a company needs a lot of money, and wants it in the form of equity, they may not be able to get it from one particular person and so it may sell its “ownership” to many people in the form of shares. This company will divide its ownership in many (or few) shares and price them equally, then sell them. A person can choose to buy as many of these as he/she can afford and/or as many as they are available. This person will own the particular company to the extent of the number of shares he/she owns, hence the term “share”.

Thus a share is a unit of ownership that represents an equal proportion of a company’s capital. It entitles its holder (the shareholder) to an equal claim on the company’s profits and an equal obligation for the company’s debts and losses. Shares are sometimes also known as stock.

The following are some easy-to-digest facts about shares:

§  Shares represent ownership of the business.

§  Ownership can either be partial (less than 100%) or full (100% of all shares).

§  If you want to own a business, you can either:

-        Establish your own business, or

-        Buy shares of an existing business.

§  Share is a means of capital. If you want to start a big business, and you lack the capital, you can issue (sell) shares of your business and get the capital.

§  Share is an earning asset/investment. That is it makes you more money.

§  Share is a fairly liquid asset. It can be sold within short notice whenever you need to sell them to get hard cash.

§  Share is a decision making power. Once you own shares of a business, you own part of that business and you can participate in the decision making processes by voting. One share equals one vote. When a company has a lot of shareholders, they usually cannot agree on everything, so they use their shares as voting rights to make decisions.