“The grass is greener on the
other side of the fence” or so everyone seems to think. Maybe that may be the
case, but greener grass means more water is put into it and higher water bills.
In the world of
relationships it is easier to think that the next fellow has it easier and
better. After all, it is hard to perceive what goes on behind closed doors.
When people look at the other person and his/her spouse they start to think how
happy they would be if they had that particular spouse, after all he has a
better job or she has a bigger behind! In fact, others go to the extent of
trying to get the other’s spouse for themselves because that particular person
seems so happy.
This is wrong because anyone
can be happy with whatever it is they have at the moment. Happiness is a state
of mind. There is a Swahili saying that goes “ukiona chaelea ujue kimeundwa”.
You never know how much work someone puts into their particular relationship to
make it so satisfying.
So, the following is what
you can do to make the grass at your own side of the fence look greener, and as
I said, it will mean a little more water cost than you are currently paying.
© Learn to appreciate your partner’s
strong points. No one in this world goes without a certain
virtue. If you look closely you will realize that there is a reason you fell in
love with them in the first place and made a decision to be with them. Welcome
whatever good they have to offer.
© Learn to accept your partner’s weak
points. The human mind is a strong instrument. It can learn
anything, and I mean anything. It can create things which were not there to
come to be, and it can make things that are there disappear, literally. People
have amazingly learnt to live in stench filled areas and have gotten used to it
so much that if you asked them they would happily claim to feel no smell.
People have their vices as well. Most of these can either be ignored or simply
gotten used to. However, there are some vices that cannot, and shouldn’t be
tolerated such as abuse (both physical and emotional). Such should be reported
to the authorities ASAP.
© Avoid comparison. And
this is not only concerned with romantic relationships, but all relationships
as well. It is not fair to compare kids with their siblings, it is not fair to
compare parents with other people’s etc. do not compare your spouse to someone
else’s or your own past relationships. There are no two completely similar
human beings. Everyone is a unique individual and that fact should be
appreciated.
© Work on your relationship.
Every good thing requires work so if you want a better relationship you’ve got
to start working on it. Apply the “do unto others” rule. If you want your
partner to treat you better, start treating him/her better first and see if
he/she doesn’t catch the cue.
It is okay to admire
another’s relationship, but to covet it. It is okay to look at another person’s
relationship and learn from them so as to improve your own.
